Archive for April, 2010

April 27, 2010

I don’t want to learn!

<RANT>

There are many, many things I want to do. But I simply don’t have the time or the resources or the skill for most of them, especially since my GCSE exams are coming up, and I am busy procrastinating most of the time. I always tell myself that in the future, I will do all of these things, although most get forgotten within minutes- this is why whenever I do try to begin a project, I dive right in with no plans and make a huge mess, only to give up in frustration. So yesterday, I decided to make the infamous- a To Do List.

I began with the obvious: write a To Do List. This was followed by (minor amounts of) school work and exercise. Just a reminder. I then proceeded to rattle off every idea bouncing around in my full and exciting mind. Oh joy. To give you an idea of how this goes, here are a few examples:

Design a website

Design some t-shirts

Write more blogs

Start making money online

Learn something new on guitar

…So there we go. Just the first few, and already half are over-ambitious dreams. Anyway, the point of this (phew, finally!) is that I am impatient, unreasonable and easily set up for a fall. Aided by the fact that I am intelligent and a teenager, this means that in my view I can do anything, correctly. I am never wrong, nor do I need to think ahead or be taught. Which leads on to the idea that, when I want to really achieve something, it is common practice for me to start straight away in the easiest direction, without considering possible setbacks.

Take for instance web design. I began by opening up a notepad file and typing the few lines of code I knew. I could do this with a little help from the internet. Enter a <h> tag, maybe some sizing <h1>, <h2> etc, then look up basic colours, and hey presto- my own website. Or in reality, a blank page with SAM’S WEBSITE in blue Times New Roman. I have since learned the basics, if a bit more, of HTML and CSS, and am able to code to Web Standards. To me this means I am able to make myself a website. The fact that I cannot create anything half decent is simply down to inefficient browser rendering, not my lack of practice, experience, knowledge or skill.

Therefore, if I want to create my own online enterprise, I know I can do it. None of this anecdotal evidence means anything. Design? Photography? Marketing? Produce? Leave it to me, and in a few weeks I will be a ninja in every art. Meaning back at the start line. My problem is, I am the proverbial jack of all trades and master of none. Yet I keep going in the hope that at some point, I will get to where I want to be. Now this seems like a case of me being lazy and wanting things to come easily, but this isn’t (entirely) the case. When I have some time, like this coming summer, I plan to spend most of my time working on all these things while I have a large time-span in which to work and develop freely without distraction or guilt. I feel that in time, all my efforts will culminate in a hugely successful and satisfying result. I will let you know how that goes…

In the mean time, here is an inspiring example of how practice really does help, from the wonderful webcomic QuestionableContent.

April 18, 2010

Baking

I have done some baking today. I made Bakewell (almond) tarts with raspberry jam, iced with a glace cherry on top. I made the pastry myself too. I also made a stem ginger cake with sticky ginger fudge icing. Here they are:

April 12, 2010

Storytelling Part 6

Body pumping adrenaline, I stop dead still. What I am seeing cannot be real. Out of the stones at my feet, shaking the dust from every pore, crawls a child. Androgynous; torn fabric worn head to toe. Pleading eyes look up at me from the tiny body, impossible to resist. Instinctively I beckon for the child to follow, but it either doesn’t understand or is too weak to comply, so I cautiously kneel down and wrap my arms around its legs, hauling it up onto my shoulder. Some blank thought, like a forgotten memory, flashes through my mind briefly. Dismissing the moment with a shudder, I continue walking, slowed by the weight of the child; a distant throbbing lingers somewhere within me.

I lower the body through the jagged hole, following it with a sigh of relief. I collapse beside the sleeping child with shared exhaustion.

Waking from a slumber of uncertain length, I stretch my arms wide. Suddenly I hit something soft and panic for an instant, before everything returns to me. The child. The plan. The medicine. The medicine! That’s what I was forgetting, what the lingering feeling was! I have been sleeping in a doctors’ surgery: I should have searched the place for first aid kids, drugs, anything of survival value. Stick to the rules, always. Quickly in, quickly out, nothing more. Except the diary.

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April 7, 2010

FULL OF AWESOME!

Tomorrow is my 16th birthday, and I am using my new iMac which is amazing. Full of awesome, enough said. :)

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