American English

*Warning* The following post contains tongue-in-cheek opinions some may find offensive. *Warning*

I am British. My native language is English, derived from the country of origin- England. I therefore disagree strongly with the notion of ‘American English’. There is no such thing. Americans claim that our ‘British English’ is simply a different version of the language, but that is a desperate and guilty claim. American English is, put simply, stolen.

I have to deal with the differences between the two frequently; any time I write on the computer. This was particularly an issue during my GCSE English Coursework, which had to be typed and redrafted and corrected many a time. I am quite good with the English language (for my age). I know how to spell. So it is frustrating when a fairly lengthy document typed with precision lights up like Christmas before my eyes. At first I dread having made so many mistakes, but on further inspection every wavy red line indicates a misplaced vowel.

Now I wouldn’t mind if there was some actual, major contrast between British and American spellings. But the language just enforces the stereotype of Americans being lazy. Almost every single ‘error’ I have come across is down to my (correct) British spelling containing an apparently unnecessary letter U. Colour, color; valour, valor; behaviour, behavior. Seriously? I cannot fathom any possible explanation for these variations, except that Americans are too lazy to invent their own language, so they steal ours and in an act of pure audacity shorten it by removing every single extra vowel.

I mean no offense by this declaration. I am not insulting Americans nor being prejudiced. I am simply saying, how could anybody get away with this, in any form, and does it not make Americans feel typecast into their own stereotype? What are your views? (Please bear in mind this is light-hearted and subjective, don’t abuse me…)

I Need To Write A Blog

I need to write a proper post. I really do. But I just don’t have the time. Well I do, but when I have the free time I can’t be bothered, at all. Not to neglect my *loyal readers*. I mean, I have even worked out what is going to happen (vaguely) in my story updates, but I lack the energy to write. Even typing this is strenuous. So I hope you will forgive me and continue to check for something, anything new. For now, I provide you with an on-the-spot poem:

Tired,

eyes like steel shutters.

Wearily, wearily,

heavy hands tapping

on plastic pieces;

my alter ego.

🙂